My Mission: Trying to Describe the Indescribable.


Hello to my loyal readers,

I have wanted to post things here but sometimes I honestly feel so humbly ignorant about what I am experiencing I end up not sharing my recent Kundalini experiences. They have been intense and profound. Its been hard to put them in words without rambling on. In July 2016 my Kundalini rose to my Third Eye Chakra and now its working on rising pass my Crown Chakra.

I have always found it frustrating that there was lots of basic information about the Chakras and what you may experience as your Kundalini rises but finding actual descriptions of personal experiences that involve the Third Eye Chakra or Crown Chakra and beyond seem rare. Also what about the Bindu Chakra? Honestly I think people become afraid that they will seem ego inflated or in need of a first class ticket to the Mental Asylum. Because many days I feel like I have one foot in this world and another in the spiritual realms. Finding balance in my life has become increasingly difficult. Staying grounded has become a greater challenge and I have to ground myself several times a day now.

Also I have to fight back my fears because with the lack of any good informative resources about advanced Kundalini Awakenings in English, I really do not know what to expect to happen to me once my Kundalini is able to pass my Crown Chakra. I know in my heart that its going to happen and I feel it could happen soon. I am just trying to get through the Holidays but Shakti and Shiva do not work around my schedule. Its just not something you can pencil into your daily planner. That unknown bothers me.

I am a single woman with no children. I have to work a full time job, pay bills, rent and I still need to live my life in the United States. My parents are getting older and they will need to be cared for. I do not have the luxury of being able to sit in meditation all day in deep bliss and turn away from this world.

A dear friend of mine who is experiencing Kundalini himself told me some good advice. He said, Yeah you may completely be dumbfounded on how to describe your recent Kundalini experiences, but I bet you are not alone. He said just sharing what I can could help someone who is going through the same things. Sometimes its just reaffirming to read when someone feels just as lost and confused about their Kundalini as you are.

Because I am honestly very grateful and humble for being able to walk this path. I look at myself and I still wonder how I even got this far. I am far from what most people would ever envision an Yogi being or looking like. If you look back at my life, I have done some really stupid things and have had many failures. Yet here I am. Sometimes I feel like the only thing I have gotten right in this life was learning to surrender and flow with Shakti. I guess if anything, if I can get this far with my Kundalini Rising without any formal training, then maybe it will give you a boost of confidence and hope that you can do this too. There are so many paths and styles of Yoga out there. But mine has been learning to listen and Surrender to the Kundalini. To flow with her instead of resisting her. To love her instead of fearing her. Trust me, its always a work in progress and she enjoys upping the ante on me.

But I can look back now and see that she was directing my life toward this. Like a puzzle coming together but she is more like a Master Chess Player. As the puzzle pieces start coming together, its easier to put the rest of the pieces together. Then you start to finally see the bigger picture coming together..

So I am going to make it my personal mission to start sharing my Kundalini experiences more. Even if that means I may be judged and scrutinized for some of the “out there” things I may share.


18 thoughts on “My Mission: Trying to Describe the Indescribable.

  1. how are things going with the kundalini? i get you. if you want to chat and share about your experiences, in a real way, in detail, i would love to have some back n forth. i know it’s difficult to find someone who understands.

    • I am getting to a point in my Kundaini process, that it is becoming more difficult to find any real good information in English. This has become a journey about having Faith and Surrendering to the flow. How are you doing?

      • For me, at some point I just decided to make it all my own and stopped reading so much about what others said it should be, and just experience all the pain and pleasure, good and bad, bliss and sorrow, and just try to figure it out myself. I realized that’s how I got to this point anyway, so why try to apply others’ opinions and interpretations on my experiences? I think there are obvious similarities or symptoms, but vastly differing reasons why people go through this. Nonetheless, I do find it helpful and interesting actually interacting with others who go through it, although I haven’t necessarily met anyone in everyday life in the same boat as me.

  2. I have experience Kundalini since 1991. It has been a very important force or energy and helping improve my quality of life or health. I can tap into Kundlini almost at well. Again I feel it’s an incredible healing energy. I am never sick.

  3. Wow what a great post! Iam so glad you shared. I totally feel you. I’m about 2 and a half years into my kundalini awakening and its been the greatest blessing but at the same time the most insane ride ever. I don’t know how I made it this far either. Kundi is always trying to up the ante. I wonder if it just constantly does that until you have nothing left and your a yogi in the mountains lol. Its asked me to give up college and my significient other. And I did and feel better about it because its what my being needed but I always wonder if It ll just keep asking you to give up more and more. I also always wonder if Iam able to live in the western world and live a “normal” life and do this process. I’am planning on taking a trip to India for a bit and I have a feeling that I might stay there for some years. Its cheaper living and the energy embodied at the foot of the himalayas I ve read could really help with integrating my energy. Whenever I visit holy places or ashrams the energy there makes the physical pain much more bearable. My kundi energy is currently at my throat chakra. Lots of expression and alot of sleeping. What’s your experience of it at the third eye?

    • Hello Jared,
      I totally feel and relate to what you are saying. I would love a chance to go to India but my finances are too stressed to even consider it. Also my family is here and I need to be close to them right now. Several people have requested that I describe what I went through as a my Kundalini rose to my Third Eye and how my life has been since. Its been very difficult to put in words honestly. Especially now since my Kundalini has rose above my Third Eye Chakra now . Its been increasingly more difficult to stay grounded and focused. I am trying to write notes down and hope to post something soon.

  4. I was gang raped in March 2016 . The key perpetrator was my childhood friend – who I thought I would have a forever with . Anyways I went from acute PTSD 3 months after to just traces . It was terrible when I becAme Hyper Vigilant . That later evolved to Hyper Sensitivity and my primary physician said it was damaged nerves – and only Valium or medication from a psychiatrist would ease the back pricking sensations which are painful . Yes it happens only at night – in my bed . My clinical therapist suggested Reiki then my Reiki healer therapist took me to her teacher . The clairsentient grounded me . She said it was intense since it didn’t seem like I was ever grounded . I am 50 years old with 3 children . Now I am getting fearful of what this is really all about .

    • I just needed to added as I am
      just barely realizing or discovering what this is . I have seen below that “it keeps raising the ante ” – since the horrific gang rape experience last March 2016 – ( chronologically ) – lost a good man divorced my husband for a boyfriend that set me up for the trauma … lost family and friends who blamed me for the trauma … lost my oldest son and my only daughter – they could not deal with what happened and what continues to happen – I only have my youngest son living with me … lost a source of income due to PTSD …lost all my money ….almost lost my house … almost lost my sanity ….
      I need to embrace this accept it with an open heart while letting go of the – ego – 🙏💛🙏💛🙏 not easy at all – not at all

      • Marinella,
        I had responded to your previous post and I see that it never posted. I truly apologize for that. My heart went out to you when I read what had happened to you. When I was Twenty Six years old I was sexually assaulted but I was able to fight him off before he raped me. But by me fighting back, he became enraged and I ended up getting a fractured pelvis. I did not realize how injured I had been until a couple years later when I began having orthopedic problems. I also suffered some PTSD from the attack but my problem was how to handle the anger and rage I felt toward my attacker. It was eating me up inside. Three weeks after the attack, I put a mental and physical line in the dirt in my yard. Because every day I allowed that SOB to take my life away, is a day that he was winning! That day I said, No more!” I began getting therapy on a regular basis. I start taking stress management classes. I took up Korean Kick Boxing. I reached out to my friends and family. I included them in my healing instead of excluding them. Slowly the PTSD episodes became less often. I went from being a victim of the attack to a fighter. Because every day I took back my life was a day my attacker had less power over me. I visualized him shrinking day by day until he was the size of an ant.

        Physical and Emotional Trauma can cause a person to have a spontaneous Kundalini Awakening. The Kundalini does has a way of clearing out toxic people out of our lives but I would fight for the people you love. Your kids especially. If you cannot fight for yourself, fight for your kids because they really need you. People seem to not realize that you can speak to their Kundalini and ask for her to ease up. Because she may actually do it. its worked for me. No matter what, never give up. Stay strong. Your life has changed but when one door closes, a new one opens. This is not the end, it is a new beginning. No one can change the past but we can change our present and future. In this moment we have that power to profoundly change our lives for the better. There may be setbacks and days we just wish to stay in bed but you keep pressing forward. So empower yourself Marinella. I have faith in you.


        • Thank you very much – I now can put a label to this – spontaneous Kundalini awakening . Knowing what it is and knowing there are others who can enlighten me is a big HELP. Thank you much I am not a fighter like you but I have definitely gone passed the victim mode – I am now a survivor willing to embrace this awakening . I went through a clinical therapist and a doctor – I have actiually accepted that I cannot change what has happened . I’m not certain if the kundalini has gone through my crown chakra / far as I know my hair just keeps standing at night and the pricking sensation from the upper back to the nape to my hair – can get unbearable . I have survived 2 months of this hypersensitivity . I will embrace what is needed if only to truly awaken and get aligned to my higher self . Maybe that’s why my guide said my grounding was very intense – it almost seemed to her that I was never really grounded ? Other than loosing everything for a more divine purpose is something I am willing to sacrifice – but seriously what else is there to strip ? Thank you for your kind and encouraging words …. 🙏💛

          • Consider yourself a work in progress. Usually the Kundalini slowly works through the Chakras and it can take years to experience a full Kundalini Awakening. Which is OK because it gives you time for your body and mind to process this energetic transformation. Its important to find a balance in your life. Also self care is important because it helps the Kundalini do its job. Eat high nutrition meals and exercise. Drink purified water. Learn how to meditate and look into Kundalini Yoga. Continue to have therapy because it important to have someone to vent to through all of this. Fostering healthy friendships and relationships is vital. You need people around you who will support you. Ones who will lift you up and add to your life, not take away. Also find resources in your area that help you with your financial and basic needs until you can find a job. The key is to just keep pressing forward. 🙂

  5. Thanks for sharing. I just lost my job (again) while undergoing kundalini moving through my brow chakra and this somehow felt comforting. Hugs.

    • GH,
      Have you considered that maybe you are not doing the kind of work you really enjoy or want? The Kundalini can be very intense and make it hard to do a 9-5 job. Have you ever considered trying a “Work from Home” job? Also you will realize that the material world is what is wrong, not you. Understand the Kundalini is trying hard to purge and purify you. Its trying to raise your vibration but in this modern world its being bombarded with unhealthy chemicals in our water and food, air pollution, man made electromagnetic energy, high stress, negative people and we are forced to work daily to make enough money to eat and have shelter. But the media pushes us to believe that material excess and fame is the source of accomplishment and happiness. It pushes us to look and dress a certain way or we are invalid or of less worth. We are living in a sick world and its making the Kundalini’s job much harder to purge, purify and heal us. Then it must also contend with us fearing and resisting it. So you can see why your body and mind seems to go through so much with your Kundalini Awakening. Its trying so hard to help you spiritually grow against so many obstacles.

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