I hope you are well. I apologize for not posting much since March. My life has been on a crazy twisted roller coaster ride of late. I was diagnosed with a neurological disorder called Tardive Dyskinesia. Its the opposite of Parkinsons Disease. Its not related to my Kundalini Rising at all. I had been taking Geodon for eight years. Its a antipsychotic that was given to me along with antidepressants when I was severely depressed years ago. They kept increasing my dosages and changing my antidepressants because nothing seemed to work. Thankfully, my medical doctor decided to check my thyroid levels because thyroid disease runs in my family. I was finally diagnosed with Hypothyroidism which was actually the real cause of my depression symptoms. I am getting my thyroid levels checked every three months now. My TSH levels are normal now and I am doing so much better.
Even though I was being treated for my Hypothyroidism and had shown improvement, my Psychiatrist still felt that I needed to stay on the Geodon as a precaution. Well that prolonged time on the Geodon caused the Tardive Dyskinesia. It’s supposedly a rare neurological disorder but yet there are more reports of patients getting it. I am honestly still angry and sad about it. There is no cure for it and the medications being used for it now have dangerous side effects. I was referred to a psychiatrist who specializes in Tardive Dyskinesia and is leading up medical trials for it.
I had been weened off the Geodon for two weeks at half my regular dose. I had begun to have sleeping issues. My new psychiatrist told me to go “cold turkey” as a emergency precaution. With it, I had even worse sleeping problems. For the first 14 days, I hardly got any good restorative sleep. It wore me down both mentally and physically. I believe the overall stress broke down my immune system which made me get a bad UTI which took two courses of antibiotics to cure. I had a string of other illnesses that followed after this.
Some nights I was waking up every 15-30 minutes. Many nights, I would wake up a hour after falling asleep and be wide awake. I couldn’t get back to sleep for hours. Before this, I had slept nine hours straight every night. Its going on five months now and I am still having problems sleeping normally.
During the worst of this, ironically, I had no Kundalini symptoms at all. Which honestly surprised me because in the past, stress has made my Kundalini much more active. I also could not meditate either. I was just too exhausted.
But in the last six weeks, the Kundalini has become more active. I am having more Third Eye Chakra symptoms. I will discuss this more soon!
(April 2020 update) I have been completely off all psychiatric medications since 2016. I have not had any rebounds of major depression since. My Hypothyroidism is being well managed by my medication, Levothyroxine. The Tardive Dyskinesia is in total remission. My Specialist commented that considering the severity of my case, I have had one of the best recoveries he had seen thus far. At it’s worse, it had affected the muscles of my face, left hand and right toes. My face was the first to recover, then my hand, then my toes. I said “remission” above because there are cases where the Tardive Dyskinesia has returned years later. I am happy to say that I now sleep soundly every night. I meditate daily.
Above all, I had not realized how emotionally flat I had become. As I weened off all my psych medications, I actually got my personality back. I have had to learn to adjust to feeling all my emotions without being numbed out. I had become quiet and withdrawn but now I am outgoing and happy. My sister tells me that she got her sister back.
I cannot help but feel like part of my youth was unjustly taken away from me. I can never get back those years. It’s hard not to feel anger toward the Psychiatrists who treated me because they never thought to do any blood work to see if I had any underlying health problems that could be the culprit. Through those years I lost my job and the love of my life because I was constantly in a mental fog, exhausted and not very fun to be around. I am still having to battle the weight I gained taking all those psych meds. Many of them had the common side effect of weight gain or loss. Having untreated Hypothyroidism lowered my metabolism which made it worse. So every pound I have lost has been a small victory.
I will clearly state right now that I am NOT telling people to just stop their psych medications without their Doctor’s authorization. If you have major depression that has been hard to treat, and you have never gotten your thyroid hormone levels checked out, you can talk to your medical doctor about it and request lab work for it. They should already be in communication with your Psychiatrist. If you or anyone begins to notice that you are having symptoms of Tardive Dyskinesia. Contact both your Psychiatrist and Medical doctor ASAP.
14 thoughts on “Sorry I have not been around.”
hi Dear Morgan,
I’m quite delighted to find your work.
I say very little in this post as I don’t like advertising the most intimate details but perhaps you’d like to exchange notes on our experience https://bipolarblast.wordpress.com/2020/04/04/tardive-dyskinesia/
best to you,
I would be happy to exchange notes with you. You can email me at awakeningK@protonmail.com
great. will get to you when the energy aligns for that. I look forward to it!
How do you know the kundalini symptoms aren’t the result of the antipsychotics? Perhaps some of the kundalini stuff is the Tardive Dyskinesia. I only bring up the possibility because I’ve also been on antipsychotics for 8+ years and have kundalini symptoms.
sorry about tardive dyskinesia. I hope it is not too bad.
I live in your area. I would like to meet, if you have time. I am not going through kundallini awakening, but for over one year now I have had a tigthness in what I now know is my throat chakra. It changes, but it is still there. I was wondering if you could tell me some ways to clear it, to open the throat chakra.
You need to first rule out any possible medical reasons for the tightness in your throat. I would see a ENT. If it is not a medical problem, you might want to consult a energy healer like a Master Reiki Healer.
In my own experience you cannot make a Chakra open. You cannot force it. Its best to let it open naturally.
I’m just one of the random readers here that greatly enjoys your blog and hope you’re doing ok since we haven’t been hearing from you. Sending you prayers & peace…
Have you tried cannabis oil, you may have to travel to Colorado to try it, it may help, it won’t hurt.
Yo tuve mi despertar hace 4 años y fue inesperado,estube en el infierno literalmente,mis principales sintomas son mentales,delirios,toc,depresion,ansiedad,bipolaridad etc,todo esto ocurrio de golpe,de un dia para el otro.
Estoy actualmente medicado con Anafranil,Risperidona Y Clonazepam y mi estado a mejorado mucho.
Saludos soy de Cordoba,Argentina.
My kundalini awakening symptoms started 16 yes ago. While clearing the emotional body I would experience 8-10 panic attacks a day and I was also depressed. Then I stopped sleeping. The sleeplessness lasted 2 yrs. I would literally go for days without sleep and then only get an hour here and there. I’m a nurse and I tell you, no sleep nearly killed me. I found a Dr who specialised in natural hormone therapy. I was diagnosed with adrenal exhaustion. Because of the constant state of panic I had been in for 4 yrs, my adrenal glands decided they’d had enough. That was 10 yrs ago. The hormone therapy has been the only thing that has stopped me from leaving this planet. Ascension and kundalini take a physical toll on the adrenals as the body clears and shifts. I’m not saying it could help you, but it may be something you could try. Believe me, sleeplessness is part of this kundalini experience if the adrenals are under stress.
Thanks for writing. Its very ironic you brought up adrenal exhaustion. I had recently read a article about it last week for the first time. It made me wonder if I had gotten adrenal exhaustion after a traumatic event a couple years before Kundalini rose. I remember laying in the fetal position feeling totally broken and I felt something inside me change. Not long after the depression began. I went to numerous psychiatrists who tried all kinds of antidepressants. I finally ended up being evaluated at a Mental Hospital and they checked my thyroid levels and discovered I had hypothyroidism. I read that thyroid problems can be a symptom of adrenal exhaustion. I worked in the medical field and was on my feet all day long. I began to become more easily fatigued. I was having a hard time doing my duties and I had to quit my job. Ironically, a couple years later my Kundalini Rose to my sacral chakra and there is no way I could have worked outside of my house. During that time, I had the most intense Kundalini activity so far in my process. I had to add, weeks before the Kundalini began to rise, I had one very intense physical experience and a one week later a very emotional stressful event as well. I can look back now see that everything was coming together for the Kundalini to awaken. I will look into finding a doctor like yours. Can you ask him if he has any associates he would recommend in North Carolina?
I’ll ask him. I’m seeing him next Tuesday. He’s the only one in Australia, but he often talks about other drs around the world who are just like him. He’s great because I could also talk about my paranormal experiences as well. He thought it was great. Not a normal Dr. The medical board here are trying to close him down, but people from all over the world come to see him. I was just very lucky because I was ready to commit suicide before I met him. I still take the hormones as many of the kundalini symptoms seem to respond well. I was also low in thyroxine when my adrenals went down. I had all the symptoms of being ‘bipolar’ but It was adrenal exhaustion. Gp’s have never heard of it. Their answer to everything they have no answer for is a psyche diagnosis and drugs. I’ll be in touch, hopefully with a name for you. Stay well.xx
WOW….. apparently you guessing at what kundalini is! It’s rising, has nothing to do with harm to health….its the release of energy that flows in the spine warming glands, activating glands naturally……any reaction is ones suppression of this energy or lack of LETTING IT GO! Kundalini makes one whole….suppressing kundalini leaves you in your original condition a body operating at 10%.
LET IT GO…..LET IT FLY…..Knowledge, love, bliss and ectasy follow. It clears one of everything , it applies the law of physics in a physical transformation where the third eye opens as the eyes flutter shut….a world of knowing and all that is in aura is perceived.
If opportunity strikes “let it go”….. unless your fear rules you!
Guessing or explaining your reaction to kundalini trying to free you is obvious. The second coming is the coming of divine mind or full kundalini for all. The hueman perception revolves between Divine mind and dual mind……that’s all.
Hi Morgan, we don’t know each other but I’m on your FB list of friends. I’ve always appreciated your FB responses and was wondering recently where you had gone. By way of background, I am finishing my doctorate in neuropsychology and I am a Karuna Reiki Master, and practice Qi Gong, and Shuan Yang Tai Chi as well. I’ve been living in Bangkok, Thailand for the last 18 years traveling back and forth to the US when necessary. I read your report on your current physical condition with keen interest. I hope and pray you recover soon. I’m returning to the US next week for 2-3 months. Keep in touch! Peace. Anthony Rhodes